I feel like a complete and total heel. That’s a word right out of the mid-1900s, but nothing really speaks better about how I feel.
I truly hurt someone’s feelings last week, and I can’t take back what I said. To be more specific, what I didn’t say.
Two simple words. I say them all the time – to people who don’t even necessarily go “above and beyond.” I would like to think I am a pretty gracious and grateful person. However, last week, I was not.
I had an amazing vendor VOLUNTEER to help our organization with a new undertaking. She is an amazing person, incredibly talented, and someone I not only respect, but also enjoy spending time with. Apparently I never told her this.
We were working together on a direct mail piece. She wrote a killer appeal letter – and really didn’t know a lot about our organization, but was able to knock it out of the park on her first draft. We made some internal changes, and I know I said that I loved the letter and her work, but I also know, I didn’t ever say “Thank You.”
My amazing copywriter told me the other day she couldn’t work with me any longer. I was crushed. I tried to blame it on my wanting to make too many edits to her wonderful letter. That could not have been further from the truth. When she told me she had never felt less appreciated, it was as though I had been kicked in the gut. Because she was right.
Talk about a “teaching moment.”
I’ve spoken with a lot of people about it, and so many say, “you’re charming, and she’ll forgive you. You’ll win her back.” I know that she won’t, and that she shouldn’t. I can move on, but I know that I lost an amazing colleague, simply by focusing more on myself, the product, and not her generosity towards me, and especially the amazing organization where I work.
Look around. Who helps you? Do you express your gratitude for what they do? Do you actually say the words of thanks, not just compliment them? As my friends’ mother always said, “choose your words.” I usually thought of that as a warning not to say something hurtful, but now I realize, NOT saying something is just as bad.
So, Donna – THANK YOU. I know it is too little, too late, but it is the least I can do. Yes, your work is amazing – I hope I have made that clear. More importantly, the time and effort you gave our organization, and particularly ME, was invaluable, and I truly appreciate you.
Teaching Moment Complete. As my sister said, it is in the past now, and all I can do is move forward, and not replicate my mistake.