My Social Media Hiatus

I’ll be the first to admit, I have a slight social media addiction.

I see it as a good thing.

I don’t think I’d be writing a blog, or have discovered any of the amazing business and non-profit leaders I follow without social media.

When I had a really hard time at a former job, a huge loss in my personal life, and some amazing personal and professional accomplishments, my social media family has been there to listen, commiserate, support, and cheer with me. And I love it.

This week social media has gotten a little ugly, and I felt I needed to step away.

It’s pretty clear which political direction I lean, and the federal government shut down has me really upset. A lot of people on both sides of the aisle are equally upset. I found myself being less and less tolerant of social media posts from both sides which were errant, propagandist, and incendiary. Social media was making me angry.

So I posted on both twitter and Facebook that I was signing off until a continuing resolution is passed. And then I posted a photo of my puppy.

That was about 36 hours ago, and yes, I am still twitching. I had a major fundraising win yesterday, and I shared it with my work and home families, but I wanted to share it with my 3,000 other “friends.”  I wanted to share boring stories of updating my operating system last night, because my husband really didn’t care how long it was taking me (bless his heart, he did listen to my whining).

Last night, I tore into two books I had started months ago – started them both from the beginning, and felt inspired. I cleaned out my inbox, listened to a podcast, and started writing and outlining a few blog posts.  Wow – productivity.

Like everyone else, I’m hoping that this shutdown is quickly rectified, for many reasons. But at least I’m forcing myself out of my comfort zone and getting things done that I’ve complained I don’t have time for (there’s another blog post), and feeling more relaxed.

Note: I did troll Facebook a bit last night – not posting anything. I saw that a friend on the opposite end of the political spectrum said he too was signing off Facebook for a bit, as he was “starting to not like people I like.”  It’s a shame it’s so polarizing, but I think he and I will both be better for it in the long run (and it coincides with the start of NHL season, so maybe I’ll get back into the Avs)!

Now, it’s back to a little twitching and getting more real work done!

Gratitude and the Simple Act of Saying Thank You

I feel like a complete and total heel. That’s a word right out of the mid-1900s, but nothing really speaks better about how I feel.

I truly hurt someone’s feelings last week, and I can’t take back what I said. To be more specific, what I didn’t say.

Thank You.

Two simple words. I say them all the time – to people who don’t even necessarily go “above and beyond.” I would like to think I am a pretty gracious and grateful person. However, last week, I was not.

I had an amazing vendor VOLUNTEER to help our organization with a new undertaking. She is an amazing person, incredibly talented, and someone I not only respect, but also enjoy spending time with. Apparently I never told her this.

We were working together on a direct mail piece. She wrote a killer appeal letter – and really didn’t know a lot about our organization, but was able to knock it out of the park on her first draft.  We made some internal changes, and I know I said that I loved the letter and her work, but I also know, I didn’t ever say “Thank You.”

My amazing copywriter told me the other day she couldn’t work with me any longer. I was crushed. I tried to blame it on my wanting to make too many edits to her wonderful letter. That could not have been further from the truth.  When she told me she had never felt less appreciated, it was as though I had been kicked in the gut. Because she was right.

Talk about a “teaching moment.”

I’ve spoken with a lot of people about it, and so many say, “you’re charming, and she’ll forgive you. You’ll win her back.” I know that she won’t, and that she shouldn’t. I can move on, but I know that I lost an amazing colleague, simply by focusing more on myself, the product, and not her generosity towards me, and especially the amazing organization where I work.

Look around. Who helps you? Do you express your gratitude for what they do? Do you actually say the words of thanks, not just compliment them? As my friends’ mother always said, “choose your words.”  I usually thought of that as a warning not to say something hurtful, but now I realize, NOT saying something is just as bad.

So, Donna – THANK YOU.  I know it is too little, too late, but it is the least I can do. Yes, your work is amazing – I hope I have made that clear. More importantly, the time and effort you gave our organization, and particularly ME, was invaluable, and I truly appreciate you.

Teaching Moment Complete. As my sister said, it is in the past now, and all I can do is move forward, and not replicate my mistake.

Sponsorship is Not a Donation.

In applying for positions, I’ve come across a few postings asking me to do a little work along with sending the requisite cover letter and resume. Depending on this position and the scope of the work,  I completely understand this. When I say scope, I am calling out a very large national health plan that  wanted candidates to provide an entire communications plan prior to even getting an interview. I felt that was a little out of scope to obtain a phone screening, but that’s just me.

I am working on a sponsorship proposal letter for a wonderful foundation out of Boulder. I don’t mind their asking for a sponsorship letter – it’s a letter, and for a sales and development professional, they should be second nature and pretty much like a cover letter. But it got me thinking – there is a big difference between a sponsorship letter/proposal and a development letter to a potential donor.

Sponsorship is a business proposal. The bank, law firm or restaurant is looking for something in return. You had better know what you have to offer them in return for their purchase of advertising.

  • Value Proposition – what are you offering – why should they get involved. This had better be more than a good feeling that they are helping the community – that’s asking for a donation.
  • What is your demographic – does it match the group they wish to reach?
  • What can you give in return for their sponsorship? Have you built value in return? Is it is special event with goodie bags? Where will their logos be placed?
  • Can you execute and over-deliver on what you’ve promised?

Donations are different – you are asking for cash and in return, you will give that person, company or group, well, nothing except perhaps a tax break and the feeling they have made a difference in the community. There’s nothing wrong with that at all – I love asking for donations and telling a story about the organization, the work and the mission. It’s just not sponsorship. Don’t spend three pages explaining how wonderful your org is to the marketing director of a bank unless you are recruiting them to your board (and that should be done in person, anyway). If you want their company to sponsor something, show the return on investment.

Donation letters can be longer, though I still prefer short and sweet. They too should have a call to action, and the development professional should follow up as any sales person would, but the donor letter should have slightly different components.

  • Case Statement or Statement of Support – this should be institution-wide – the reason anyone – a volunteer, funder or individual would want to get involved.
  • Impact in the community – who, what, how and where are you helping? How many are helped by the work of your org?
  • What will their donation do? What is their impact?

Follow up with both a donor and sponsor can be similar – it’s OK to tell a sponsor the impact their sponsorship made in the community, but just make sure you also include a recap, including photos if possible, of their branding. The follow up with a donor or sponsor will increase engagement, and ideally increase their investment.

Management 101

I just finished “Predictable Revenue” by Aaron Ross and Marylou Tyler, in anticipation of a meeting this week. It’s a primer on sales prospecting and a great read for managers and sales folks alike.

One point struck home with me, which Ross and Tyler actually attributed to “First Break All The Rules: What The World’s Greatest Managers Do Differently.” It’s by no means rocket science, but it pretty much summarized what I look for in a manager, and what I really haven’t experienced in quite some time.

1. Do I know what’s expected of me at work?

2. Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right?

3. At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best every day?

4. In the last seven days, have I received recognition or praise for good work?

5. Does my supervisor, or someone at work, seem to care about me as a person?

6. Is there someone at work who encourages my development?

7. At work, do my opinions seem to count?

8. Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel like my work is important?

9. Are my coworkers committed to doing quality work?

10. Do I have a best friend at work?

11. In the last six months, have I talked with someone about my progress?

12. At work, have I had opportunities to learn and grow?


The first six points speak to the role of the manager, and the latter six to employee satisfaction. And wow – it is exactly what I think about in job searching. When I meet with potential employers, I make it clear I am interviewing them as much as they are interviewing me. I want a manager who recognizes my work and wants me to succeed. I don’t need to be best friends with my manager, but one who cares about my life and ensures I have a good work/life balance would be ideal. And being able to excel – removing “systemic” barriers to allowing employees to use their skills is imperative to me.

I’ll do my best to keep the top six in mind as a manager, and I already use the last six, perhaps not in those exact terms to judge my satisfaction.  And I’ll have some questions to ask in my meeting this week!

Another Great Term In Job Descriptions

There is always the “other duties as assigned” line at the bottom of a job description, but today I got a huge kick after repeatedly seeing  “desire to succeed” as a qualification for a job. Really?

I know there are people who do not care if they succeed, but I seriously doubt those folks are even looking for jobs. I don’t think there’s a lot of job seekers who are thinking, “Gosh, I want to fail!” Just sayin’.

A Little Inspriation

A friend posted this on Facebook, and I had to “steal it.”

Do not become subservient. Do not dwell on every tiny setback in the course of pursuing your chosen path. To do so would be foolish. Victory or defeat is determined by our entire lives. Moreover, our final years are the most crucial. What is enviable about the pretentious rich? What is great about conceited celebrities? What is admirable about political leaders who gained their positions of power by treating others with contempt? Dig right where you stand, for there lies a rich wellspring! – Daisaku Ikeda

Worst Interview Question. Ever.

About two months ago I was asked what I think is the worst interview question ever.

“Describe a time when you went above and beyond.”

Really? In customer/donor relations going above and beyond is what I do every day. I want each donor, volunteer, event attendee, committee member, and staff person to feel as though I have given them great service – what they service. Service that they deserve. So what would be above and beyond that?

I was completely stumped. I came up with something about working every angle possible to ensure we had enough wine for our event when one distributor couldn’t fulfill the entire donation commitment. But that’s not above and beyond, that’s making sure my event went off without a hitch. I used to do a few extra personalized mailings to thank and recruit blood donors, but I don’t think that’s above and beyond either.

It’s just doing a good job, and taking pride in my work. Perhaps that’s not so easy to find nowadays.

Being Direct vs Being a Jerk

The Daily Beast posted the classic story on the perception of women in the workplace when they are assertive, direct and less apologetic. The results – women who cut out the niceties such as Please, Thanks and I’m Sorry often get more respect in the workplace – to a point. Push that assertiveness to the point of being disagreeable, and it will come back to bite women. But not men.

I see why being assertive works. Completely. It makes total sense. If it’s my job to delegate something, and your job to do it, I really don’t need to say please and thank you, nor should I be apologetic for tasking you. That’s doing my job, not being mean. And yet, I still nearly always sign my emails with a Thank You, and look for a “Please” from my manager and colleagues when they would like me to do something. I rarely get this from my manager (nor a thank you), and I find it incredibly aggravating.

I guess I am a sucker for being polite. When a greeter in a store opens the door, or wishes me a good morning, I always return the salutation, or look them in the eye and say thank you. It’s not pandering, or being meek, it’s being NICE. My mother the psychotherapist would call it co-dependent. I still call it being nice.

Interestingly,  when males fight or bully others it is more physical and direct. Female bullying is often referred to as “relational” bullying, and we fight on a much more emotional plane. Sociologically, women make “everything” a  relationship (I know, major generalization).

I’ve succeeded throughout my career because I am great at building relationships, and caring about my customers. Within those relationships I am appreciative and of course polite, but I am also direct and clearly define my expectations. That is why I succeed. It’s how I am able to increase sales, close long-standing business in the pipeline and affect customer (donor) loyalty. I make the ask – I don’t apologize for it at all.

One afternoon with my colleagues waiting to go to lunch and literally lined up at my cubicle, I asked my process champion at UPS what it would take to get them a contact. Nothing more, nothing less. She right then said she would purchase the product at XXX price, and I should get her a contract that day. My boss’ eyes just about popped out of his head when he heard me openly ask for the sale (we were not usually that direct), but of course he was terribly pleased with the result. And of course, I thanked her at the end of the call!

Clearly, there is a place for direct communication. Things get done when you say what you need to say. But there’s no excuse for not thanking someone for their contribution or assistance. And  there’s no need to demand things rudely when a simple “please” will go so far in their mind.

And on that note, thank you for reading, and oh, please help me find a job!